Side-Mission: Bling-Bling Scramble¶

Rewards: $1,000 per checkpoint

Basically, get to the starting line near the Coliseum in Aspatria and, once the race starts, floor it. You probably won’t get the first checkpoint or two, but you’ll also get up to full speed quickly enough so that you can knock over any fool racer that gets in your way (if you’re using the Firetruck).

By the way, to win, all you need to do is collect the most checkpoints. There are fifteen and they pop up in a somewhat-decent order. Get eight for guaranteed win. I also note that you can use the Rhino here, if you’re that far ahead, to destroy the opposition.

Side-Mission: Uzi Rider¶

Rewards: $10,000 and hostility from the Diablos.

When the mission starts, you’ll be forced to drive a crappy Perennial and have some Yardies in the backseat that won’t really help. Help with what?

You have to go to Hepburn Heights and kill some Diablos. And it has to be via a drive-by; you need to kill ten Diablos. Getting killed or so much as leaving the car makes you fail the mission.

So, basically, always shoot from the driver’s-side window. Once you’re done, go back to Yardie territory and into the blue marker to finish.

Side-Mission: Gangcar Round-Up¶

Reward: $10,000

Pretty simple mission. You have to grab three gang cars – the Mafia Sentinel, the Diablo Stallion, and the Yakuza Stinger – and bring them into the garage in Newport.

They also have to be in mint condition. So I suggest saving them in your Staunton garage by using the quaint overfilling trick, then you can bring them over easier.

If you can’t, note that you still can use either the hideout garage or the nearer Pay ‘N’ Spray to re-mint the car. The Mafia Stallion can be found around St. Marks; some are parked in front of

• Toni’s place and Salvatore’s mansion.
• The Diablo Stallion is found roaming around Hepburn Heights.
• The Yakuza Stinger is found roaming around Torrington. Some are parked at Kenji’s Casino and the Newport condominium complex.
  Bring all three cars to the Newport garage to finish.

Side-Mission: Kingdom Come¶

Rewards: $10,000 and hostility from the Yardies and Allowed repetition of ‘Bling-Bling Scramble’ mission.

Once the mission starts, head to the parking lot behind the Liberty Tree complex in Bedford Point. Destroy any vans nearby (trust me, you’ll know why shortly), and enter the Stinger nearby.

Now, from this point onward, you’ll be bombarded – pardon the pun – by SPANK’ed-up madmen coming endlessly from various vans. These people are madmen in that they are SUICIDE BOMBERS AIMED FOR YOU.

One of the vans was the one we earlier destroyed. Now, three others are soon on their way. I seriously recommend the Rhino, for the suicide bombers don’t really affect it well enough. If not, you’ll need to find the vans and destroy them. Hence, the Rocket Launcher.

Get to work … and good luck. I found this to be the hardest mission in the whole game!